


hold me (don't you ever let this die)

by fbismoak (midwestwind)



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Cuddling, Episode Tag, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Talking about fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13566990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midwestwind/pseuds/fbismoak
Summary: Oliver comes back from his conversation with Dinah and finds himself rediscovering an old fear.





	hold me (don't you ever let this die)

**Author's Note:**

> It's a 6.12 episode tag because apparently this is a thing I've started doing again. Because I have no chill. And am easily inspired by things like twitter. It's super short, but hopefully still good? Mostly it's a test of whether I can adequately work from Oliver's POV or not. I guess you guys will have to be the judges.
> 
> Inspired by a tweet from [@amellxwood](http://twitter.com/amellxwood);  
> "i bet you dinah’s “if it were felicity” words stuck with oliver & he probably went home to felicity that night & just held her all night bc he was thinking about how dinah lost vincent & how he could lose felicity & just wanted her in his arms all night & now i’m emo. great"

“How’d it go?”

 

Oliver’s body reacts to the sound of her voice, relief flooding through him as if he hadn’t seen her only an hour ago. He’s still tight with tension from his confrontation with Dinah, but seeing Felicity sitting there on the bed, cross-legged and fidgety as she waits for him, makes him feel better. Lighter.

 

When he’d come into the apartment it had been dark. With William in a safehouse with Raisa, they barely make it home most nights, so he’d assumed she was still at the bunker. Usually, that’s where he’d be most nights, with her. But they’d be working, trying to find more money for the city or shut down Cayden’s entryways into all of the systems.

 

He can’t do that tonight.

 

“About as well as I thought it would,” he admits, unzipping his leather jacket and pulling it off. He tosses it onto the chair in the corner, the closet feeling suddenly too far away at the moment. 

 

Felicity cringes at his words, uncrossing her legs and shifting over from the middle of the bed to make room for him. She pats the space next to her lightly. She’s changed out of the dress he’d watched her put on this morning into a pair of comfortable pajama pants. Oliver thinks of days when he may have hesitated to let himself be so close to her, so casual and comfortable. Tonight he responds immediately, settling down next to her.

 

He rests his arms on his knees and her fingers stroke over his forearm, moving along the lines of him through his sweater until she comes to his wrist and slips her fingers between his. Her other hand wraps around the back of his hand, encasing his cold fingers between her warm palms.

 

He sighs, his eyes slipping shut with her ministrations and she presses her mouth against his bicep, not quite a kiss, but a small and familiar contact. She must notice how far away his mind is. It’s always been so easy for her to read him, break him open and see right through him to his core.

 

“What happened with Vince,” she starts, slowly but with a familiar conviction in her voice. He cuts her off, letting his eyes open again to look over at her.

 

“Wasn’t my fault,” he supplies, giving her a small smirk. Catching on to his teasing, the corners of her lips turn up but it does nothing to lessen the worried crease in her brow. He sobers before continuing, “Dinah made a call that led her team into a trap. It’s easier for her to blame me and I understand that.”

 

Felicity’s fingers squeeze his and she gives him a silent look. Like he said, it’s so easy for her to read him. She sees the “but” coming before he’s even figured out how to vocalize what he wants to say. Overcome with affection, he leans sideways and presses his lips to hers, once, gently before he continues.

 

“But, she was right about something,” he goes on, prompting another confused frown from her. “If the choice had been you or the bomb, it wouldn’t have even been a question for me.”

 

“Oliver,” she sighs, looking away from them and down to their hands instead. “We’ve talked about this. If it ever comes down to me or the city-”

 

“I know,” he says with a sharp nod, mostly because he doesn’t want to hear the words again. 

 

It had been a necessary conversation when they’d returned from Ivy Town. Once they’d decided they could do what they do and still be together. It feels like a lifetime ago, but he remembers the way she’d looked at him - fiery conviction that made him fall further in love with her as she’d told him that he could never choose her over the city. She’d told him if it came down to sacrificing her to save hundreds, she’d want him to do the right thing.

 

He’d nearly gotten down on one knee right then, but instead he’d nodded and promised her he’d try. He hates to break a promise he’s made her, but he doubts he’ll ever be able to keep that one if it comes down to it. He’s always chosen her and he doesn’t see that changing any time soon.

 

Instead, he pushes away from the conversation, not eager to repeat it.

 

“Seeing Dinah tonight,” he begins, trying to find the words he needs. This has always been Felicity’s forte more than his. He can craft a speech with the best of them, but when it comes to putting what she means to him into words, well, he’s just better with actions. He tries anyway, “It just had me thinking about what I would do if it  _ had _ been you, if I had been the one to make the call that meant I lost you.”

 

“You know,” Felicity starts, a lightness to her voice that almost immediately makes him feel better, “I still worry about you every time you go out there. Anything could happen, we don’t always make perfect calls. But, if we let that fear take hold of us, we can’t do what we need to do.”

 

“That’s very well put,” he tells her and she gives him a sad smile, seeing through him once more.

 

“But it doesn’t make you feel any better,” she says for him, sitting up straighter to rest her chin on his shoulder.

 

“Maybe it will,” he admits. “Tomorrow.”

 

“And tonight?” She asks, voice dropping to a whisper as her body molds against his side. He pulls his hand from where it’s still sandwiched between hers and wraps it around her waist, holding her fast to him.

 

“Tonight,” he starts quietly, using the leverage of her body against his to lean them backwards into the mattress, “I want to hold my wife and pretend there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

 

“I think I can make that happen,” Felicity says, giving in as he settles them back onto the bed. She shifts upwards, a little awkward in the movement, to reach the pillows at the head of the bed and he follows her.

 

Once they’re settled, Felicity scoots herself towards him until she’s pressed against him, his arms coming around her to pull her as close as he can. Her nose presses against his collarbone and one of her legs hooks over his thigh. Oliver takes a moment to breathe her in, surrendering to the moment as he kisses the crown of her head, snuggling against her.

 

“I love you so much,” he sighs, tension flowing from his body as she hums in response and wraps her arms around his torso, looping up towards his shoulders. She rubs his back and presses a kiss to his skin just above the collar of his sweater.

 

“I love you too,” she echoes quietly, words muffled by the cotton material.

 

Tomorrow, they’ll get up and go back to work. Oliver will work to find more money and convince the city that they are going to beat Cayden James. Felicity will work on figuring out who falsified the video of him. They’ll keep doing what they’ve always done best. Ultimately, they’ll find themselves in a situation where one of them runs the risk of not coming home.

 

And maybe, tomorrow, the fear won’t feel like it could bury him.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: [@fellicityqueen](http://twitter.com/fellicityqueen)  
> tumblr: [fellicityqueen](http://fellicityqueen.tumblr.com)


End file.
